Children and All That Jazz

So I'm going to Chicago in a few days. The main attraction will be the opportunity to see my little niece for the first time. For those of you who haven't heard, Abigail Sofia was due somewhere in March. My sister told me her original due date was the 7th, then bumped back to the 21st, then they were going to induce on the 18th. So several weeks out, I predicted the birth of my niece on St. Patrick's Day, and that the happy parents should acknowledge that by throwing some Irish name in there. I like the name Abigail, but either a replacement middle name or two middle names wouldn't be the worst idea, I thought.

To show how much we listen to Uncle Chris, the baby was born on March 17, as predicted, and the planned name didn't change at all. Was Siobahn, Nuala, Moira or Brianne such a bad idea? *sighs* Whatever, then. Of course, I've been told something on the line of "when you have your own child, you can stick whatever name you feel like on him/her/them."

When I have my own child... you know, even from those people who I know were under familial pressure to reproduce, I tend not to take this commentary very well. I will give my family credit and say that it was never a point of contention. Therefore, in the early years of my marriage, it was easy to respond to the inevitable question of "when are you going to have kids?" with "well, I'm practicing as diligently as I can!" Needless to say, said marriage didn't exactly proceed according to plan, so most of me thinks it's a good thing there were no children. Spoken like a true product of a divorced childhood.

Nevertheless, somehow there's a pattern that the stereotypical life is supposed to favor. Go to school, get a job, get married, have 2.5 children, have a house with a white picket fence and a dog (please not a cat!), grow old together, watch your children repeat this process, spoil your grandchildren, die peacefully in a contented old age. Somehow, failing to complete this journey brings forth some doubts as to whether "a full life" has been led.

Now, as of this writing, I am as far as I know without progeny. Again, I'm usually pretty damn sure that this is a good idea. I'm nothing if not practical, cynical (why do I sound like I'm heading towards singing Supertramp?) and rational. Overpopulation, lack of faith in this world being a better place than the one I came into, the thought that I'm a little overly concerned with myself to believe that I'd be a good father, lack of interest in ever seriously saying the words "baby mama" and I could think of a few others. "But you'll have no one to watch over you when you get old" has actually been given to me as a reason to procreate, and I think "do I want to have kids just to make them do that?" If that's the best reason to come up with, I'll pass, thanks.

It's not inconceivable (all puns are intended) that this could happen in the future. People are living longer, and I'm rather young for my age (immature could probably be used just as easily), and in decent shape. Starting a family at 40 is hardly unusual. Hey, 40 is the new 30! But you know, the fact is that some people in every generation just don't have children, for any one of a variety of reasons. In my group of friends, it seems to be an almost 50-50 split. The ones who are currently unmarried make up the majority of the childless, but there are couples that seem to be perfectly content not bringing rugrats into this plane of existence.

As with the kind of questions I ask my classes when I try and foster debate, there is no truly correct answer (though most of you reading will at least be able to understand what I mean if I threw out the term "anthropomorphic" but that's a rant for the future, perhaps). My existential musing is winding down, and circling back to the start of the post, I expect to have pictures of Abigail Sofia to share at some point. But when I'm conned into changing my first diaper, I don't promise that the thought "at least I don't have to do this regularly" won't run through my head like a bullet train. Auf Wiedersehen!